Submitted anonymously to North Shore

The rumours are true and the loot is ours.

Last Thursday (June 20), under the cover of night, a fearless team of Queer Ninjas, using Trans-Batman-grade suction cups and Super Lesbionic Wonder Woman lassoes, scaled the clammy, heaving walls of Hamilton’s City Hall and reclaimed our rightful property. Our highly skilled infiltrators easily pierced the fortress of servanthood, dismantling the two centre flag poles and removing our beloved Pride and Trans flags. The QNs were pursued by Hamilton’s intrepid popo force (who are great at rooting out uppity queers, but apparently not so great at identifying known fag bashers), and narrowly escaped the rooftop using Gay Spiderman steel webbing and Sheer Non-Binary Strength. By dawn Friday, new flags had been installed in a different spot. Those two empty spots in the middle, where Mayor Fred had the nerve to fly our flags without our permission, are a protest of absence. A ghostly reminder of this city’s inaction. Fascists are here, we are queer, and we’re not going away, you are.

Queer Ninjas saved Pride Day from religious fascists! Fuck you City Hall, WE HAVE THE FLAGS.

The editor of the Hamilton Spectator, demanding photos of the Queer Ninjas.